Hey Philippines, Feminine Lesbians Do Exist

Since June is the Pride Month, I somehow feel inclined to talk about the issues about and around the LGBT community — especially now that one of our local (sort of international) celebrities came out as a transgendered man (familiar with Charice, anyone?) and is being criticized and made fun of for it.

But while the need to address these problems are important, I feel like it’s all just too much and I have so much to say and I can’t be coherent because again: too fucking much.

The Filipino society and culture is so fond of labels and stereotyping based on those labels. Trust me, I’ve experienced it first-hand and almost on a daily basis. I refer to myself as a lesbian and most people in this country are not used to seeing a very feminine “straight” lesbian (and by that I mean a lesbian who was never “converted” and one that has always been attracted to other women, never men).

People like putting me in a bubble. They refer to me as a tomboy (by definition of that word, I am not) even when I’m very clearly feminine. They call me a dude or tell me that I’m not really a girl and that I’m basically a guy who just happens to have a vagina and prefers ‘women’s’ clothes.

It’s so stupid that I can’t be referred to as a woman just because I’ve always been attracted to girls. These people feel like only straight men or butch lesbians are the only ones with the right to be solely into women.

I brush off the constant nagging of guy acquaintances offensively pushing me to “give men a shot” (or more specifically, have sex with them) because apparently, since I’m feminine, I can still be converted to being straight (do I really have to wear guy clothes and cut my hair short for these people to understand what my preferred gender is?). I brush off the people who constantly see me as a guy and refer to me as a guy and talk to me as if I’m a guy — as if objectifying women around me and catcalling them is totally okay. But these people do it without any respect for my regard because in their eyes, “I’m not a woman” and that since I like women too, it’s okay for them to act like complete assholes towards other women, albeit behind these women’s backs.

Correcting these people has become tedious. And I just do not and cannot deal with the idiocy of it all. So I just let it be and I let it slide because teaching them isn’t working (I tried, numerous times) and I don’t wish to stress myself over and over.

Happy Pride Month, everyone. Spread rainbows for me, would you?

This is Day 2 of my #30DaysOfWriting Challenge.


  1. I remember not knowing that such “straight-looking lesbians” exist until 2009 — total shock of my life LOL. Being a butch lesbian myself, I regret to say that I have stereotyped my own people 😦 I thought “straight lesbians” were actually straight girls who *just happened* to fall in love with another girl. I know better now, of course. And it sucks that men only pester you because they want to get laid. Like wow, have some respect, dude!
    Anyhoo, I wish I could go to Pride this weekend, but I have class that day. Plus i don’t have anyone I can pull with me. Enjoy the march and please post photos so I can see it! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. Many people don’t know we exist. Sadly. Feel ko it’s because ang daming mga babae na nagkaron ng jowa na lesbian (butch), biglang they refer to themselves as lesbian na rin. When in reality, they’re actually bisexuals since they’re also attracted to men. I find it offensive when these women do that since it brushes off the idea that feminine lesbians don’t exist 😦 And yes, about the annoying men. Sometimes I just laugh at it pero deep inside, like tangina, pinapatay na kita sa utak ko kung alam mo lang. Hahahaha.

      Aww. Sayang!!!!!!! You can join us if you like. I have the girlfriend with me, you can bring your girlfriend too!!!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. And oh, I visited your blog but it’s tagged as a “pornography” site. Did you purchase SSL certification along with your domain and hosting? Kasi if not, browsers would tag your site as a non-secured page and some people won’t be able to visit your blog. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree. Kaya siguro even tho i’m a butch, ‘di ko rin knows na may feminine lesbian until i actually met one. And i was like, ah okay, so may mga girls pala talagang hindi butch pero ang preference ay girl din??? Kaloka #mindblown moment haha!

        I did purchase an SSL certification and even had the support guys from Namecheap install it for me. Huhu! I wonder if there’s a way you can send me a screenshot saying that I run a porn site?? Haha. The most NSFW post i have is… nothing! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha. Marami rin ako nakilala na ganyan ang reaksyon. Like “really?? Baka naman dahil may girlfriend ka lang ngayon kaya ganyan?” And I was like “bes, please. Grade 5 palang may jowa na kong babae (HAHAHAHA please don’t judge me, we just talked on the phone every afternoon while watching Slam Dunk hahaha) so stop” LOL

        Kahit lagyan ko ng “https” ayaw e. Huhuhu. Of course. Where would you like me to send it to you?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hahahaha! A lot of ppl din kasi thinks na it’s just a phase, experimental ka lang. etc. etc. hay naku! Kakapagod na rin mag explain sometimes haha.

        Um is email okay?? I’ll bring this up to Namecheap kasi ‘di ko marecreate on my end. All i see is the warning “this site is not secured” pero wala naman pornography mentioned, nor is my browser (incognito mode) preventing me access. Super thank you for your help on this! :’)

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ay truth naman. Nakakaistress, please lang. Lalo na for me na super feminine (#kilayislife and all that hahaha), sobrang feeling na somewhere along the way, “bibigay” rin ako and would all of a sudden be straight. Annoying!

        And yep, if you see “this site is not secured”, ibig sabihin di naayos yung SSL certification mo 😦 Send me an email through my Contact page up sa site para I can just reply to you. Or if I remember correctly from having visited your site earlier – hello@heyitsodee.com ba??

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Hello! Do you mind trying to access my site again?? Kaloka si Telus bakit feeling niya porn ako. Haha! Currently talking to Namecheap huhu this self-hosting thing is too much work tbh lol

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Hahaha dammit. If putting https doesn’t work, I’m guessing SPoC must be getting my blog misclassified. I never really had this problem before, but will get it fixed *hopefully* haha

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s this quote that says, “We do not see things as they are, we see things are we are”. And with so many idiots out there, well. Ya know. People will refuse you the simple right of being you because it somehow disturbs the small comfortable illusion of a reality they’ve created for themselves, and in which you do not fit. With all the information available to us today, it’s like people are choosing to be stupid. Like those coconut oil worshippers who are freaking out because someone called out the fact that coconut oil is … well, oil. AKA fat. (Sorry, I’m in no way comparing you to coconut oil, I was reading about it yesterday and it’s a fresh wound.) A tablespoon of coconut oil is 14 grams of fat, it always has been. Some women are attracted to other women, they have always been: no mullet required.
    I guess what I’m trying to say is, I understand the tediousness. -__-

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha don’t worry, I get you on the coconut part. 🙂 It’s just frustrating how a lot people in my country do not understand that some people, regardless of how they dress or what they look like, were born attracted to a particular sex/gender. It gets really trying to constantly explain these things. -__-


  3. Huh, I’ve never heard of the term “straight” lesbian. Interesting… why with the labels though. Yet another category they like to put people into!
    Oh geez… “give men a shot”? WTF. Did you tell the guys who said that they should give men a shot too? See how they like it. “Just once, c’mon”. 🙄
    Happy Pride Month! Toronto has a huge parade! I once participated in a float dancing in silver body paint – it was such a fun experience. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, it’s just a term that I coined because people are so fucking annoying. Most of them think that I only refer to myself as a lesbian because I have a girlfriend at the moment. They don’t realize (or they don’t want to believe) that I’ve always been a lesbian. That’s why I quote-and-quote, just say I’m a straight lesbian. A lot of women here who have girlfriends refer to themselves as a lesbian only because they have a girlfriend at the moment, when in face, they’re also still attracted to men, which technically makes them bisexual. And that’s why a lot of people don’t want to believe me when I tell them that I’m actually ONLY attracted to other women. They think that I can somehow still be converted to being straight. It’s so stupid, I swear.

      And yes, that’s actually my usual answer. “Alright, I’ll give men a shot if YOU give men a shot. Let them put their dick in your ass holes and let’s how that makes you feel.” Lol

      Haha I can just imagine you in that silver body paint, dancing! I can’t wait for our own parade here in Manila! It’s going to be this Saturday! 🙂



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