For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about one too many things (which caused my anxiety to flare up and it sucked because I missed two days of work because of it… but that’s not my point here) and there was one that that stood out. Dreams.

No, these aren’t the ones that you have when you’re fast asleep and snoring — or in my case, drooling (eww, I know).

These are the ones that you want so badly to be or happen with your life or experience. These are the ones that you spend a load of your time thinking about and wondering what it would be like if at least one of them comes true. These are the ones that you’re probably already working hard on achieving. These are the ones that may or may not have been consuming your days and nights worrying about.

I have just finished reading Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon and have already started on Without Merit by Colleen Hoover. I have also been re-watching (for the thousandth time) As Told By Ginger on the side just to fill the silent space in my room.

And then this thought suddenly occured to me. I’ve always dreamt of becoming a writer and publishing my own book. A dream that started when I first watched Ginger on Nickelodeon on that fateful afternoon when I was 10, I think.

I decided to start keeping a journal (ehm, diary) then and I have been keeping one since.

But the dream remains to be just that… a dream. I tried a couple times. I started writing a few chapters some years ago and then stopped because it sucked big time.

I tried again but the same thing. And I was never proud of what I’m coming up with. I realized then that I’m simply a terrible writer. So I started a blog, with the hopes of turning it into something but I’ve been at this for more than a decade and I still am a no better writer than I was when I first started.

Sure I have better sentence construction and have a wider vocabulary to boot but that’s about it. And it sucks.

I’m not letting go of the dream just yet. But right now, all I can do is semi-constantly think about it. A girl can dream, can she?

15 comments

  1. Ateeee! Balitaan mo ‘ko sa Without Merit. I’ve heard it’s a really good book!!

    Anyway, ako I believe you’ll get there and reach whatever you want in life. Kaya ‘yan! I belive in you! 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Everything Everything is something, right? I still don’t know what I think about Without Merit, though.

    You are doing well in writing, ate. The fact that you have better sentence construction and wide vocab already means that you are going somewhere. One step at a time. Just don’t give up on it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh gosh, I had long forgot about that cartoon As Told By Ginger! How nostalgic!
    A girl can definitely dream. 🙂 My best advice for you would be to keep writing. That’s it. If you are unhappy with what you write, then keep writing until you are happy with something, feel what you are writing – what message do you want to convey? It doesn’t have to be concrete at first. It can be completely vague. Try to be as free as you can with your writing, don’t force it too much. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can never forget Ginger. She is basically my inspiration for wanting to become a writer ☺️ I definitely will. Thank you so much!

      Like

  4. I used to love As Told By Ginger! One of the best cartoons out there. I totally hear where you’re coming from about dreams. I left the place I grew up to follow my dreams and I’ve hit so many road blocks.
    Just be positive, take it one day at a time, maybe even write one sentence a day for your book and see where that takes you. Or instead of sitting down with the hopes of completing a chapter in one sitting, maybe write in a notebook some themes, plots, characters, and so on just to get a layout. Maybe that’ll help?

    Good luck to ya!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It definitely is! It’s one of those amazing coming-of-age shows that’s not very usual for cartoons. 🙂

      Thank youuu. I’m thinking about that, actually. Taking it one step at a time for now. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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