These words are often thrown aimlessly and without caution by people who don’t seem to understand the gravity of it.
And if you ever say that you do deal with one or both of these things, often the responses are annoying. If not, just terribly insensitive.
Thing is, there are just some supposed “encouraging statements” that are better left unsaid. Because while they may be coming from a good place and with good intentions, the effect is not really, well… good.
Just think positive!
While I understand that some people do not go through what I go through, it still annoys me when they equate sadness with depression, hence the notion that thinking positive would easily resolve the issue.
It actually doesn’t work that way.
You need to just quit focusing on the negative things!
Well, this is usually a follow-up statement to the one above.
For starters, I don’t actually focus on the negative things. They’re just always there and as much as I want them to go away, they don’t. That is why there are people like me who are suffering from anxiety. Because we can’t get rid of the lingering thoughts that our life sucks… even though, in some cases, there’s really nothing that makes it suck (if you know what I mean).
Some people can have the most perfect life (in the eyes of others) but still suffer from mental issues. That’s just the reality of it.
It’s not about being negative. It’s about not being able to run away from the negativity.
Some people have it far worse than you do. Quit whining because you actually have it better than most!
This is so ridiculous and insensitive it’s almost laughable.
I will never understand the nerve of those who have the audacity to say this to someone who’s clearly going through some serious shit.
It annoys me when people try to convince other people that their anger or stress isn’t warranted if someone else in the world is worse off than them. It’s bullshit. Your emotions and reactions are valid, Merit. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. You’re the only one who feels them. — Colleen Hoover, from the book Without Merit
I think the quote above explains clearly why it’s not appropriate to tell people that other people have it worse so they should just suck it up and be grateful or be merry or be whatever other than anxious or depressed about their lives.
You’re probably just going through a bad case of PMS.
There’s a difference between saying I hope that’s just PMS and you’re just PMS-ing. The former is a statement that’s basically wishing you’re not really going through something that serious and that’s something to be appreciated, if you ask me. But the latter is just blatantly dismissing your issues and saying that it’s not really anything to worry about because it’s mostly likely just the outcome of “that time of the month”.
If you’re a woman and are dealing with mental health concerns, it’s sometimes hard to tell if it’s just PMS or really something deeper than that.
But while I hope it’s always just me PMS-ing, it’s not really the case. And it’s hard and obnoxious when people say that it’s just that and leave it there.
Are you okay?
This is probably the worst. For me, at least.
And this goes for any “negative” emotion out there, not just anxiety or depression. I mean, you can physically see that the person is not okay so what’s the point in this question? What’s the point in asking it to a person who is clearly going through something and is obviously not okay?
Are you just asking to make yourself feel better and be able to justify that “hey, at least I tried (by asking if you’re okay)”?
I don’t get it. And I don’t want to. Because no matter how hard I try, I can’t get through to the core of the point of this, quite frankly, insanely stupid question.
I understand that some or most of these are from a good place and a good heart. But these things being said to me are just nauseously annoying.
And it’s not really helping anybody except maybe you, the person who’s saying it.