When Anxiety Hits You Hard

Last night was one of the worst anxiety attacks that I’ve ever had in my life. I couldn’t function right; I couldn’t even think straight.

I wanted to just disappear from the face of the Earth and never look back. I wanted to just get it over with; be done with everything and leave and not feel anything at all. It’s annoying how shit can just hit you that hard just like that.

I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore. I just started punching the wall and punching myself. I didn’t know what else to do. I just want out. I want out of my life; out of my body; out of every single damn thing that’s making me feel and act this way.

I don’t even know what and how to feel anymore. I ended up crying — like full-on crying and wailing on my girlfriend’s arms because I didn’t know what else to do and how else to act. I ended up hugging my dog for what felt like hours just to ease whatever it is that I’m feeling.

I’m at a loss for everything. I’m at a complete loss and I need to take a second to breathe; figure out what I’m supposed to do next. I need to take a second to step back and think.

But at the same time, I don’t want to think. I don’t want to feel. I just want it all to be over. I don’t know how else to calm myself down. I don’t know what to do.

I just don’t.

I need to save myself from myself.

DAY 17/30 → #30DaysOfWriting challenge for the entire month of April. Also, check out the first time I took part in this challenge.

10 comments

  1. We may not know you personally, but this post is really alarming. I hope you’re feeling better now. I know you have to keep up your blog for your challenge and I’m not going to ask you to skip a day from social media or even your blog but if that can help you get better, then might as well do it. You might need some alone time to think about what’s going on with you. But if you need someone to help or to cry on, don’t hesitate to reach out to your family or friends. They can surely help. Get well soon. ☺️

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I think I’m giving myself too much space for my feelings, that’s why. I need a distraction of sorts to get some perspective. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Skipping my daily activities would actually only make it worse because that means me keeping shit to myself and worrying about it more. You know? So I’d rather do something else and keep my mind busy doing anything other than thinking about what’s happening to me. LOL not sure if that made sense.

      Thank you for the concern! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: