Before anything else, Sadie is not your usual mystery, suspense-thriller novel. It’s not the kind that’s longing for a big reveal. It’s basically a true crime but fiction. Although you may not know it at the time yet or maybe you’re in denial (just like I was), you already know the ending.
Trigger warning. Trigger warnings every-fucking-where.
Until today—or last night when I actually started reading this, I was under the impression that not reading the reviews of other people was a good thing. For some reason, I’m easily swayed by the thoughts of other people. Like, when a good amount of people liked it and I didn’t, I instantly feel stupid because maybe I’m just not understanding something that they clearly all have.
It’s a bad… trait? attitude? but what can I do. Anyway, same as every other book, I didn’t bother reading reviews of this one. It was a mistake because now, I’m mad and I’m furious and I just wanna kill somebody. (Of course, I’m not actually gonna kill anyone but the trigger points, ugh, they’re consuming me!!!!!)
Let’s backtrack a little bit here, shall we.
So while I’m typing this, I’m only about 50% through the book. But I need to get some of this steam off my chest before it actually takes over.
Sadie is about, well, Sadie. A young woman who has gone through a lot. And by a lot, I mean a hell of a lot of fucked up shit that nobody should ever have gone through, let alone someone who’s not even twenty years old.
I’m not gonna dwell on every little detail but if you’re triggered by the following, you might wanna stay away from this book:
• death of a child
• child molestation
• physical and sexual assault
• addiction (drugs and alcohol)
I don’t know what’s gonna happen next and if this is gonna give us some sort of happy ending or sunshine at the end of a very dark tunnel, but damn it, I cannot wait to find out if justice is going to be served.
That was hard. This book hit me hard.
Sadie has alternating chapters: from the point of view of Sadie, the protagonist, after she left her hometown and the Podcast—made and recorded after the surrogate grandmother was desperately trying to find someone who would help locate Sadie.
Another downside of not reading the reviews is not knowing that an actual podcast was recorded for this book. So that’s what I’m doing right now as I’m typing this, I’m listening to the podcast part of the story.
Now, I’m actually a big fan of true crime documentaries. I can often times be found watching some documentary on Netflix (my latest consumption was the one about this kid named Gabriel Hernandez and, man, that shit broke me).
But often times, true crime doesn’t have a “happy” ending, i.e. the killer/perpetrator is not put to justice. Or the entire thing is put aside, marked as a cold case.
Somehow, I wanted this book to be different since it’s a work of fiction and all. I wanted a happy ending. I wanted that rainbow, that light at the end of the tunnel. But of course, I didn’t get that.
There was a bit of relief in knowing that (I’m not gonna put it in writing because that’s a spoiler) but it’s just…well, it’s not enough.
This story is a highly-disturbing one because I know for a fact that while it’s fiction, it happens all too often. And a lot of those “often” times are left undocumented, unsaid, and victims just go on with their lives, carrying the weight of the crime, pretending like nothing happened. And that’s hard.
It’s a painful story. And I’m mad and I’m sad for everyone who has experienced something like this or even something remotely close.
My Mystery Week Book #5: Sadie by Courtney Summers. (Not sure if I can actually manage to post a book review for the rest of the week but here’s to hoping.)
It’s Mystery Week on Goodreads and I’ve decided to join in on the fun and feature/review some Mystery novels on this blog for an entire week.
Check out my 2020 Reading Challenge — a growing list of books that I read this year.